Where does time come from? Where does it go to? What do we choose?

Is this moment real? Why is everything so relative? Do my choices actually matter? At the end I think what I did only matters. The result entirely depends upon the doings I do, the decisions I make? But am I actually doing anything? Maybe not. If time does not actually exist, then nothing that is related to it exists, I do not know. What is hard work? Is it a way to penetrate the gateway or is it just another way of the mayajaal to keep me engrossed in the gross materialism and not pay attention to the truth? Should I follow my heart? I do not know? What makes me feel good? What appears right today, becomes wrong tomorrow, what was an absolute truth yesterday becomes just a conditioning today. Why do I exist? What is my purpose? Do I create just to satisfy my ego, becoming a sympathy receiver? Faith is the basis of all existance. But how does faith develop? By experiences? maybe, but a major part here again is the materialism. From another aspect if I see then I feel that at the end of the day it does matter what I resulted in and that mostly depends upon the decisions I made. Maybe someone sends time from somewhere, and it goes back to the same place, maybe. Maybe I just love the intellectual matrices and want to keep myself caught up in these and so is it a way of running away from the truth? I am pretty sure the truth is extremely simple. Oh Shri Matai why do these confusions arise? I surrender them to you and I hope I learn and move ahead. Jai Shri Mataji!!   

Confusion appears only when you look for a solution!!

"An idea that at first does not seem absurd, actually has no hope at all" I still have this line by Einstien written on a paper stuck to my almirah back home. It was a moment of pure daring when I thought of the things I COULD achieve, and magically it is all coming true. Some one said very wisely, when we request God for happiness, God gives us the opportunity to be happy(just take a moment to reflect upon it). It was in a similar confused phase of my life that I was introduced to someone who I did not know would change my life. Shri MAtaji!! No words are enough for my gratitude to my beloved mother for letting me experience myself. Though I always see in the hindsight but its is actually amazing what all happens when you surrender to the source that created you.