Is this moment real? Why is everything so relative? Do my choices actually matter? At the end I think what I did only matters. The result entirely depends upon the doings I do, the decisions I make? But am I actually doing anything? Maybe not. If time does not actually exist, then nothing that is related to it exists, I do not know. What is hard work? Is it a way to penetrate the gateway or is it just another way of the mayajaal to keep me engrossed in the gross materialism and not pay attention to the truth? Should I follow my heart? I do not know? What makes me feel good? What appears right today, becomes wrong tomorrow, what was an absolute truth yesterday becomes just a conditioning today. Why do I exist? What is my purpose? Do I create just to satisfy my ego, becoming a sympathy receiver? Faith is the basis of all existance. But how does faith develop? By experiences? maybe, but a major part here again is the materialism. From another aspect if I see then I feel that at the end of the day it does matter what I resulted in and that mostly depends upon the decisions I made. Maybe someone sends time from somewhere, and it goes back to the same place, maybe. Maybe I just love the intellectual matrices and want to keep myself caught up in these and so is it a way of running away from the truth? I am pretty sure the truth is extremely simple. Oh Shri Matai why do these confusions arise? I surrender them to you and I hope I learn and move ahead. Jai Shri Mataji!!
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